Hannah first connected with HCSA Dayspring SPIN in 2017. She was assigned to a social worker and several befrienders, who supported her at different times, such as during the pandemic as she looked after her kids and continued her job search.

“It has been a blessing to know the Dayspring SPIN support network,” she says. “It’s also a great way to build up peer support among single parents. My story is about how I went through life not just by my own strength but with the support from God and others.” 

Pandemic Struggles

COVID-19 has proven to be a difficult time for most of us. For Hannah, it was a steep learning curve to manage all four of her kids during home-based learning (HBL).

“On the first day of HBL in 2020, I was nursing my son while ensuring my other kids weren’t distracted for their online lessons. I was also studying!” she recounts. “The house was in a mess. Toys and snacks were everywhere. After I rushed cooking a soup for lunch, I tasted it and the flavour was strange. I looked at the package and realised the soup had expired. That was when I broke down and cried from frustration.”

Hannah went into her room, closed the door, dried her tears and breathed steadily. At that point, an auntie from church texted her. Hannah poured her heart out during the call. The auntie encouraged her and ordered food for her family that day. They also prayed together and found solace in God.

“A sense of peace grew in me. Yes, the house is messy and the kids are all over the place. But it’s fine. I remember thinking: let’s find strength in God and take this step by step, day by day.”

This calm approach tided her over the storm. She received grocery support from Dayspring SPIN during this time, so she could focus most of her energy on the HBL arrangement.

Her Relationship with God

Hannah had found God’s love while pregnant with her third child. In 2015, she was baptised as a Christian. She recalls the subsequent years as a period where her relationship with God was both challenged and strengthened.

“From late 2017 to 2020, I got together with men whom I knew wouldn’t be right in God’s eyes. Still, I went ahead. Being human, I found it easier to fall in love quickly to fill the void inside of me than to wait for the right love.”

Growing up in a broken family with an abusive father and absent mother, Hannah had often felt unloved, which affected her in forming healthy bonds with male figures. 

“It was four days before my fourth child’s birthday in 2018,” she recalls. “On that day, my child’s father went missing. Later, I discovered that he had betrayed me with another woman. I wanted to work things out. Our rollercoaster relationship continued.” 

During this time, Hannah turned to prayer for courage and comfort, and sought help from a church friend and counsellor. From brokenness, she began to work towards healing.

One of these healing moments happened in October 2019 when she encountered a vision of her childhood home.

In the vision, Hannah saw herself as a child, and she was at the HDB block where she used to live. The scene was of the 10th floor corridor. The environment was dark and spooky and gave her the chills. This home was where her childhood changed – and not for the better: her parents separated, which affected her growing up years.

“I had never experienced this and I was curious about my feelings from this vision, so I decided to go back. I went there with a friend, took the lift to the 10th floor and stood outside my former unit. Then, I knocked on the door. An old lady opened it. I reminded her that she had bought the house from my dad when I was still a young child.She remembered and invited my friend and me in. We talked. I looked around the house that contained so many memories for me. Then, I saw an altar with many religious figurines, but a calendar caught my attention. A part of Ezekiel 36:11, a Bible verse, was printed on it.”

It read: “I will make you more prosperous than ever.” 

As she read this, Hannah felt an overwhelming joy and assurance from God’s promise: He had brought her back to the childhood home where her struggles began, and He was now delivering her from the hurt.

“There was inner healing. I felt God freeing me from the chains. This moment allowed me to embrace my past completely. I‘m no longer a slave to my past and I don’t regret anything that has happened because it has made me who I am in Christ. After lots of prayer, counselling and a strong conviction from God, I finally decided to value myself, my children and God above an unhealthy partner. I exited the destructive relationship for good in July 2020.”

The Gift of the Past

Hannah says that even as the past does not control the future, it contains important lessons.

For example, she now knows how to better communicate with her kids by learning from her parents’ past mistakes. 

“When I couldn’t understand my parents’ actions, I filled in my own blanks back then as a way of explaining things to myself. The older generations weren’t as skilled as us in explaining things to kids or seeking help. Now, as a parent, I communicate a lot with my kids. I’ve explained to them why mummy has fallen short of trying to put together a perfect family. I hope that they can learn from both my strengths and faults. I also hope they will continue to learn to lean unto God for discernment when it comes to making choices and walk in obedience to Him.”

The freedom she gained from the healing episode also gave her the empathy to forgive her parents, and since then, she enjoys a good relationship with them.

“I used to blame them. But now, I understand why my parents made certain choices. I also learnt to accept them for who they are.”

Wants to Empower Young Women

During those tumultuous few years of finding her spiritual footing, Hannah also became increasingly compelled to help young women.

Through the Social Service Institute, she signed up for an online course on befriending skills. She also completed a confidence curriculum course with local charity Daughters of Tomorrow (DOTS), which assists low income women.

Today, Hannah is a befriender in the Dayspring SPIN network. Through DOT and Dayspring SPIN, she is offering support to two young women in her neighbourhood. She is also in the process of creating her career path by joining the social services sector as an engagement officer. It comes with no doubt that Hannah will make a great role model with her life experiences.

“I want young women to know that the most important thing is to love and value yourself. This means having the determination to choose what is good for you. It means having the right circle of friends who can lift you up. It means asking for help when you need it. Every girl deserves to grow into the most wonderful woman that she can be.”