Diana is a mother to two girls, who are 14 and 15 years old, respectively. Her ex-husband, a foreigner, left them after her second child was born. As a sign of respect to her then-husband, Diana decided to change her religion. However, this led to disagreements within her family. It resulted in strained relationships, with Diana having to raise her children by herself.
As an Accounts Executive for three years now, Diana handles a range of tasks – from managing accounts, to providing administrative support to her boss. Her current job offers a hybrid working arrangement, providing her with greater flexibility. However, her past work experiences were not always positive. There were times when her previous bosses were not supportive and empathetic towards her family’s needs. For instance, when she had to fetch her girls from school when they fell sick.
Due to her family commitments, Diana was without a permanent full-time job for almost two and a half years, despite actively seeking employment. She found herself having to work odd jobs so that she could put food on the table for her family.
Having to single-handedly raise her two children is no easy feat. Juggling between work and family, her days are hectic, and she rarely has time for rest. Diana finds it tough as she not only strives to provide for her children, but also ensure their proper upbringing. She often worries about the impact growing up without a father has on her children’s well-being.
Fortunately, supportive individuals and various organisations have helped Diana to navigate the challenging times. Whilst unable to find full-time employment, Diana sought help at Daughters of Tomorrow (DOT), a charity which provides individual coaching to help women from low-income families reach regular and sustained employment. Through DOT, she came to know of HCSA Dayspring SPIN (Single Parents INformed, INvolved, INcluded).
“Be who you are. Search for help if you need. It is better if there is someone you feel comfortable with or an organisation that you can turn to. We cannot bear everything on our own. With support, only then you can go on.”
When Diana attended one of SPIN’s activities, a staff member spoke with her to better understand her current situation. She was then assigned a social worker, who assessed her needs and invited her to join as a SPIN member. Diana is thankful that SPIN provides single parents with direct access to community resources. In particular, she found the 1:1 online tuition by a qualified professional to be useful. It not only supports her children’s academic progress but eases the financial strain of hefty tuition fees and allows for scheduling flexibility.
Diana also actively participates in Empowerment Sessions – workshops and activities run by SPIN. These include resume writing, interview skills, and outings to places of interests. These opportunities not only enhance her skills and knowledge, but also provide bonding experiences with her children without incurring additional costs.
Other than engaging in recreational activities together, Diana prioritises instilling positive traits in her children, believing their importance in helping her children integrate in society. She also places emphasis on her children’s well-being and cultivates sensitivity and love in their upbringing.
Despite the hardships faced, raising her two girls, and seeing them achieve each milestone fills her with immense pride. “Every time I went for their graduation when they are in pre-school, kindergarten, and primary school, I will always feel a lot of emotions and burst out in tears. It is not easy. I have been through another step, and my girls are growing and progressing. I feel proud that I am achieving all these milestones together with them.”, she recalls.
When asked about her goals, Diana shares that she hopes to value-add her workplace contributions by attaining a WSQ Diploma in Human Resources. She aims to continuously upskill herself to stay abreast with industry changes. A Singapore Permanent Resident, Diana is also working towards her goal of better integrating into society and providing her two girls with a home they can call their own, by applying for local citizenship.
As for advice for fellow single parents, she shares the importance of seeking support and embracing one’s authenticity.
*Name has been changed to protect client’s privacy.